Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Plan it Green Online Game

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You have been elected the Mayor of your hometown and have decided to take the barren environment and Plan it Green! Bring back the natural beauty of your city, and create a brighter, cleaner future. Build eco-homes and apply green upgrades, all while bringing new clean jobs and industry to your city. Increase your Greendex as you leave behind the ways of the past and create a beautiful, sustainable metropolis!

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Sunday, May 24, 2009

Sunday at the Depot, With Speedbumps

Most of today went well. Hubby and I took the kids out today for some family time, and we had a good time, all in all. A few roughspots, but mostly a good day.

First stop, Home Depot. There was definitely a party at the Depot today! I remember practically living there when we first moved into this house. They were having a huge sale on outdoor grills today - we were SO close to buying one, but alas, the guilt and our budget clearly led us into the "we really don't need a new one" mindset. Whew, that was close.

After picking up some filters (water and furnace), a little birdbath, some suet (bird food) and some bug spray, we were off to Toys R Us. The kids were THIS close to not getting toys. ONE toy each, Daddy said. Did you get toys often when you were a kid? I certainly didn't. And we try to not spoil these guys, but every so often, with good behavior as the reason for them, they get to go to the store to pick out 1 toy each. But as I said, they were testing us today, and we were close to rendering them toyless. They turned things around, and there was much rejoicing. YAY!

You know, it's kinda interesting to watch my hubby be the disciplinarian. He's real good at it, really. He has that booming voice, but most of the time, it's his quiet, stern attitude that gets them all weepy. What is REALLY interesting is that I heard Princess really get under his skin today. Now we've had recent discussions about how I tend to react to Princess with anger as of late, and he makes a solid point there, and I'm not proud of it. I'm working on it. But to see him get his hairs up when she constantly doesn't listen to him certainly makes me take notice and file it all away. He sometimes really experiences how difficult it is to stay calm with that little pill. I am NOT losing my mind! That girl REALLY has a talent!

But I digress. They got their toys, after they shaped up and flew right. We proceeded to lunch at the mall, and then some hang out time at the bookstore. I love bookstores. Today it was reading with the girls while Daddy took Pumpkin about. It was wonderful.

Then we came home. OMG. These kids were SO tired. And bouncing off the wall. And weepy for NO reason. Did I tell you that Sweetpea has a tendency lately to WHINE? OMG. Take the batteries out of that kid! Needless to say, it was an early bedtime for all.

I can almost hear quiet up there. (Princess is STILL playing up there. PLEASE fall into deep slumber, my little sassafrass! Wait, is that Sweetpea singing? I KNOW that Pumpkin is sleeping - he was half asleep playing with his new helicopter earlier.)

Ah, to be a kid again.

Monday, May 04, 2009

Gay Football Team

Edinburgh has fielded 'HotScots', the first all-gay football team.
I can't see them doing too well against the straight teams.
I'm not homophobic or anything; I just don't think they'll be very tight at the back...

Saturday, May 02, 2009

Jacqui Smith to become Porn Star?

Government Hottie Jacqui Smith today laughed off tabloid suggestions that she is due to start a new career as a porn star. Sporting a rather fetching Brazilian, she arrived by tax payer-funded car at her tax payer-funded Redditch home to confirm that she had watched 2 porn films at tax payers' expense for "educational purposes" on a tax payer-funded 42" LCD TV. She denied all allegations of abusing tax payers.

"I've not seen that many porno films," she claimed. "But of the several thousand that I have watched, these were the most obscene. At one point, I almost switched them off."

The films are believed to be from the new genre of "Political Porn," and include the XXX-rated "Oh Darling, I like it up the Brown!" and "Big Ben Bangaroo." Ironically, they were downloaded from "Virgin" Media.

Her husband Richard Timney offered a full apology and a ?67 refund to UK tax payers. He added, "What will really annoy UK tax payers is that they were of very poor quality. I want a full public investigation into the Consumer Protection Act."

Gordon Brown has issued a statement offering his full support for Jacqui: "She hasn't the time to be f**king in films. She's too busy helping f**k up this country."

Maybe she could be the new Porn Star?

Devil's Elevator



Devil's Elevator Movie Download

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

I can't sleep....

I think I haven't been in a mood like this since early adolescence

Last night sucked ass
I feel bad b/c I am not a fun person to be around right now - I just want to be left alone so I can sleep....forever
Worst hostess
Boys are stupid

Somewhat feel lilke that Limp Bizkit song:
It's just one of those days
Where ya don't wanna wake up
Everything is fucked, everybody sucks.
You don't really know why
---And I don't-several events and situations have led me here and I am not quite sure how to deal?

Hence I am having a Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day(s) and I haven't even gotten out of bed yet....Ciao

Friday, March 27, 2009

And the Goof just keeps on goofing….

I have much to discuss with you. Here goes:

I’m 26!!!!

Friday the 13th is a terrible, terrible, awful movie that I just can’t help but love. Kerri was nice enough to indulge me and let me watch her copy with her while we munched on Subway sandwiches to the CHCHCHCHCHHAHAHAHAHAHA of that early work of Kevin Bacon. The film doesn’t scare me, it just freaks me out in a weird way…I can’t explain it…maybe it’s the awful music, the awful dialogue, the bad acting, the complete lack of suspense…I just don’t know.

But I digress. Friday the 13th this year was the day before my birthday, so Kerri, Suarez, myself, and a few others hit Lola’s for dinner and drinks. It was the kind of thing in which I invited 8, and expected 4 to show up, only this time, everyone plus a few others showed up. It was a nice time. I had a whole hell of a lot to drink.

Oh, and by the way, I woke up on Friday morning to find these from my lovely lady Kerri:

She ain’t bad.

So, at this point, Saturday morning, my 26th birthday, 10am, I hadn’t gotten much sleep in days, and only about 5 here, so I had a wedding to go to….

Georgina and Frank!!!

My buddies Georgina and Frank finally tied the knot on the 14th (Mozel Tov!!!). After the service in Manhattan Beach, 100 of us drank champagne like it was the antidote at this place up in Pales Verdes (I think that’s what it’s called). It reminded me of La Jolla, it was so beautiful (the picture above is the view). I had a hell of a lot to drink, and ended up crooning some Dean Martin song and dancing my ass off. I can turn into a raging homosexual on the dancefloor if I so chose, which is what the ladies like…apparently.

Only something bad happened…

You know how the bride tosses the bouquet, and some lucky girl catches it and believes that she’ll be the next bride? Well, there’s another tradition…the bride takes off this garter thingy from her thigh, and tosses it to a crowd of dudes, and whoever catches it will be the next groom. Now, bare with me, and you have to believe me because it’s the truth…but I was forced into doing this…and Georgina’s family is Mexican…meaning it was about 20 5’5’’ Mexican dudes…and all 6’ of me…and I caught the damn thing.

Read nothing into it. NOTHING.

I’m no longer single
And this is how she feels about it.

Addendum

Actually, this is how Chloe always looks. She's actually quite fond of Kerri, which is unusual, considering the fact that she is openly hostile to just about any girl I bring home. The boys, on the other hand, she's all over them. She's such a flirt.

The Hulk

Oh my lord did this movie suck. This is something wrong with this picture. You know what it is? Who cares? That’s what’s wrong. Amidst a lame convoluted storyline, characters we couldn’t give too shits about, underacting by Jennifer Connely, overacting by a just-out-of-rehab Nick Nolte, stupid 70’s style split screens and cheesy editing …yup…it gets worse…is the Hulk. While he does look pretty good…he’s invincible…nothing, and I do mean nothing, can hurt this thing. Not a fall from outer space into the San Francisco Bay. Not 4 Tanks. Not 6 Apache helicopters firing their guns full blast. Nothing. Hence, no suspense. Nothing is at stake. We don’t care. And all of that makes for a bad bad movie.

oh yeah...

I'm doing my laundry tonight. I go down there to get my clothes out of the dryer, and some piece of shit stole my laundry basket. What the fuck kind of dickless fuckhead steals a laundry basket? They are 5 bucks at Target, for crying outloud! Get your own! I imagine it's some snot-nosed spoiled rotten 20-year old UCLA pothead drunk-as-a-skunk fuckwad who was too lazy to get off of his fat lazy living off of daddy's dime ass to get his own, so he got retarded and took mine. It's no skin of my back, it's just a matter of principle. This isn't some poor guy stealing a loaf of bread to feed his starving family...this is MY LAUNDRY BASKET. I hate thieves. They deserve to have their hands chopped off. End of story.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

At this moment, what is your favorite...

1. ...song?
this love- maroon 5
2. ...food?
anything cheesy
3. ...tv show?
ah-ha
4. ...scent?
beyond paradise
5. ...quote?
"difficulties will vanish when faced boldly"

- geared by me...

Saturday, March 07, 2009

King Solomon

Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man.

"This young man agreed to marry my daughter," said one.

"No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other.

And so they began arguing until the King called for silence.

"Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I shall hew the young man in half. Each of you shall receive a half."

"Sounds good to me," said the first lady.

But the other woman said, "Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let the other woman's daughter marry him."

The wise king did not hesitate a moment. "The man must marry the first woman's daughter," he proclaimed.

"But she was willing to hew him in two!" exclaimed the king's court.

"Indeed," said wise King Solomon. "That shows she is the TRUE mother-in-law."

Friday, February 27, 2009

Don't Mess with Old People!!!

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, ''Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.''

"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,'' says Grandpa. ''How about a demonstration?''

The auditor thought for a moment and said, ''Okay. Go ahead.''

Grandpa says, ''I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.''

The auditor says, ''It's a bet.''

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops. Grandpa says, ''Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'' The auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet. Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

''Want to go double or nothing?'' Grandpa asks ''I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, pee into that wastebasket on the other side and never get a drop anywhere in between.''

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

"Are you okay?'' the auditor asks.

''Not really,' says the attorney. ''This morning, when he told me he'd been summoned for an audit he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!''

The moral: Don't Mess with Old People!!!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Fact or Crap?

Sherwood Forest is a real place.
Fact! It is located in England’s Nottinghamshire, which lies north of London. The forest served as a hunting preserve for many English kings, and in the 1800s, tourists began flocking to the area to see the land where the legendary Robin Hood lived.

Friday, January 09, 2009

Last week saw off the deepavali celebrations. It was fun though i did not light any crackers, it is always a pleasure to see the night sky embellished with bright colours. yes ! nice from a distance :) I also went to the movie "Finding Nemo" on saturday. I remember going to chicago earlier this year. Nov 5th Matrix revolutions releases( so another movie). So many movies!!