I have much to discuss with you. Here goes:
Friday the 13th is a terrible, terrible, awful movie that I just can’t help but love. Kerri was nice enough to indulge me and let me watch her copy with her while we munched on Subway sandwiches to the CHCHCHCHCHHAHAHAHAHAHA of that early work of Kevin Bacon. The film doesn’t scare me, it just freaks me out in a weird way…I can’t explain it…maybe it’s the awful music, the awful dialogue, the bad acting, the complete lack of suspense…I just don’t know.
But I digress. Friday the 13th this year was the day before my birthday, so Kerri, Suarez, myself, and a few others hit Lola’s for dinner and drinks. It was the kind of thing in which I invited 8, and expected 4 to show up, only this time, everyone plus a few others showed up. It was a nice time. I had a whole hell of a lot to drink.
Oh, and by the way, I woke up on Friday morning to find these from my lovely lady Kerri:
She ain’t bad.
So, at this point, Saturday morning, my 26th birthday, 10am, I hadn’t gotten much sleep in days, and only about 5 here, so I had a wedding to go to….
Georgina and Frank!!!
My buddies Georgina and Frank finally tied the knot on the 14th (Mozel Tov!!!). After the service in Manhattan Beach, 100 of us drank champagne like it was the antidote at this place up in Pales Verdes (I think that’s what it’s called). It reminded me of La Jolla, it was so beautiful (the picture above is the view). I had a hell of a lot to drink, and ended up crooning some Dean Martin song and dancing my ass off. I can turn into a raging homosexual on the dancefloor if I so chose, which is what the ladies like…apparently.
Only something bad happened…
You know how the bride tosses the bouquet, and some lucky girl catches it and believes that she’ll be the next bride? Well, there’s another tradition…the bride takes off this garter thingy from her thigh, and tosses it to a crowd of dudes, and whoever catches it will be the next groom. Now, bare with me, and you have to believe me because it’s the truth…but I was forced into doing this…and Georgina’s family is Mexican…meaning it was about 20 5’5’’ Mexican dudes…and all 6’ of me…and I caught the damn thing.
Read nothing into it. NOTHING.
I’m no longer single
And this is how she feels about it.
Actually, this is how Chloe always looks. She's actually quite fond of Kerri, which is unusual, considering the fact that she is openly hostile to just about any girl I bring home. The boys, on the other hand, she's all over them. She's such a flirt.
Oh my lord did this movie suck. This is something wrong with this picture. You know what it is? Who cares? That’s what’s wrong. Amidst a lame convoluted storyline, characters we couldn’t give too shits about, underacting by Jennifer Connely, overacting by a just-out-of-rehab Nick Nolte, stupid 70’s style split screens and cheesy editing …yup…it gets worse…is the Hulk. While he does look pretty good…he’s invincible…nothing, and I do mean nothing, can hurt this thing. Not a fall from outer space into the San Francisco Bay. Not 4 Tanks. Not 6 Apache helicopters firing their guns full blast. Nothing. Hence, no suspense. Nothing is at stake. We don’t care. And all of that makes for a bad bad movie.
I'm doing my laundry tonight. I go down there to get my clothes out of the dryer, and some piece of shit stole my laundry basket. What the fuck kind of dickless fuckhead steals a laundry basket? They are 5 bucks at Target, for crying outloud! Get your own! I imagine it's some snot-nosed spoiled rotten 20-year old UCLA pothead drunk-as-a-skunk fuckwad who was too lazy to get off of his fat lazy living off of daddy's dime ass to get his own, so he got retarded and took mine. It's no skin of my back, it's just a matter of principle. This isn't some poor guy stealing a loaf of bread to feed his starving family...this is MY LAUNDRY BASKET. I hate thieves. They deserve to have their hands chopped off. End of story.