Government Hottie Jacqui Smith today laughed off tabloid suggestions that she is due to start a new career as a porn star. Sporting a rather fetching Brazilian, she arrived by tax payer-funded car at her tax payer-funded Redditch home to confirm that she had watched 2 porn films at tax payers' expense for "educational purposes" on a tax payer-funded 42" LCD TV. She denied all allegations of abusing tax payers.
"I've not seen that many porno films," she claimed. "But of the several thousand that I have watched, these were the most obscene. At one point, I almost switched them off."
The films are believed to be from the new genre of "Political Porn," and include the XXX-rated "Oh Darling, I like it up the Brown!" and "Big Ben Bangaroo." Ironically, they were downloaded from "Virgin" Media.
Her husband Richard Timney offered a full apology and a ?67 refund to UK tax payers. He added, "What will really annoy UK tax payers is that they were of very poor quality. I want a full public investigation into the Consumer Protection Act."
Gordon Brown has issued a statement offering his full support for Jacqui: "She hasn't the time to be f**king in films. She's too busy helping f**k up this country."
Maybe she could be the new Porn Star?
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